The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
I was so ready for motherhood. I had it all figured out. Dirty nappies, puke on clothes, I expected it all I was so ready to be a mother, A perfect mother. From the moment I found out I was going to be a mother, I read books, magazine about pregnancy, motherhood and the baby, I watched mom You-tubers and I also connected with other moms via apps and blogs. Week after week, month after month I fed on them. I was ready to ace mom life. To top it all I helped look after my nieces and nephews growing up, I know what it is like to be a mother, what could be so hard. I have seen how it’s like to be a mother. So I thought.
The day I gave birth to our daughter, seems like everything I knew flew out the window. I couldn’t feed her. She just couldn’t latch on my breast properly. The midwife that helped me deliver her was so kind enough to take me through the process, we spent almost 30 minutes and I just couldn’t feed my hungry, crying baby.
Breastfeeding seems so simple but I could not do it, day one at being a mother.
Seeing that I was slowly resorting to breaking down, the lovely midwife suggested I take a shower and she gave my baby about 5 ml of formula to help her stop crying. The 2 of us hadn’t eaten for a full day as my labor took some time, read about my labor and delivery story here
What was wrong with me? How could I fail to breastfeed my daughter, I am a failure. Those were the words that were ringing in my head. My expectations about what being a mother seemed to have been just that ‘Expectations’.
Days Spent With Baby At Home
I was privileged to go home the next day with our baby; my older sister came down to help us for a week. Those days were bliss, I loved being a mother, our daughter would eat & sleep, not much crying. But then my sister had to leave and now it was me with our newborn baby and my husband during his lunch breaks. My life took a different turn,
- Colicky baby,
- Post natal depression
- Low libido
- Hair loss
I went through so many changes as a newborn mother, through every stage I learned lessons that I believe no book or magazine or app could have successfully taught me. I was a completely different person after I became a mother. With all the challenges that came with being a mother, I can safely say that as a newborn mother I am in a happy place, I am a better person. I am more patient, cautious, understanding, forgiving and as an introvert, I am open to learning new things now. I am a newborn mother.
5 Lessons I have Learned as newborn mother
1. It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” J.K. Rowling
Every day as a mother I have come to realize more and more that life is about choices and every choice I make has the potential to define how a situation will turn out to be. Every choice shapes me. I have learned that though I may not be able to change all situations, I can choose to let it strengthen me than to destroy me. I have committed to making choices that will make me a better mom.
2. I have learned that No one knows it all
This has been humbling for me. Although it was good for me to learn all I did about being a mother or parent, that did not mean then I knew it all. Motherhood experience is not transferable. Every journey is different.
3. I have learned that my Marriage is important
A happy, healthy marriage = happy, healthy home
A happy healthy home = happy healthy children.
This does not happen overnight, it takes WORK.
W – Working together with your spouse in resolving conflicts, and carrying home duties.
O – Openness and transparency. if a home must be joyful, peaceful and blissful spouses must be 100% open and transparent with each other.
R– Respect for one another
K –Kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage.
4. My journey is different, I have learned to Stop Comparing
Children are different. They reach certain milestones in different ways and at different ages. I learned that if I compare my child or marriage to another, I get to miss out on who my child was meant to be, what her purpose is.
5. I have learned to Enjoy every moment
Children grow up so fast. Day by day, week by week I have been in awe of all the things that my daughter has been able to do. As much as parenting is not easy and it’s not always as picture perfect as often portrait online I have learned to treasure every moment. Live each day as though it is my last.